For crisis responders, pastoral counselors, teachers, community organizers, parents and friends, there is the challenge on how to become sources of comfort for people who have experienced loss or are in distress. More often than not, it is not knowing what to do or even what to say in these situations which makes people hesitant to approach or comfort people in need.
Grieving people need the time and space to be able to process their feelings over their loss. The last thing they may need is to feel more stressed out. Family relatives need to realize that they need to be more understanding with each other at this time when all members of the family are grieving from the loss.
A mother who lost her eight years old daughter to cancer recall the parents of her son's classmate telling her that they have difficulty in talking to him because he refused to tell them anything about his sister's death.
We may help them in their realization of the strengths they have amidst the difficult situation they were in.
We are gentle, compassionate and caring listeners.
may cause further distress
( I commiserate with your family)
sa ganitong paraan"
kung kailangan mong kausap”
someone to talk to.”)
We do not need to intellectualize or provide answers to questions we do not know the answers to. Sometimes when asked, we could admit that we do not know the answers and it is okay.
NO one would really know what a grieving person feels. So avoid this phrase.