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Saturday, 27 July 2013

Kuwentong Buhay

"Ano ang kaya mong tanggapin tungkol sa iyong minamahal?"

 Mabuting tanong ito para kay Lally, ang karakter na ginagampanan ng artistang si Carla Abellana sa teleserye ng GMA-7 na pinamagatang "My Husband's Lover." Sa mga episodes na napanood ko, lumabas ang husay ng  pananaliksik ng manunulat na si Suzette Doctolero at pagkakasulat niya ng isang kuwentong buhay na mabuting naipalabas sa telebisyon; makatotohanan ang pagkakaganap nina Carla Abellana, Tom Rodriguez bilang Vincent, Dennis Trillo bilang Eric at iba pang mga artista sa teleserye.

     Kuwentong buhay ito nina Lally, Vincent at Eric-tatlong taong nagmahal at nasaktan dahil sa mga desisyong nagpabago sa kanilang mga buhay. Mapagmahal na ina at asawa si Lally; "perfect wife and mother" siya kung tutuusin dahil inalay niya ang kanyang buhay sa kanyang pamilya para hindi ito matulad sa pamilyang kinalakihan niya. Mabuting ama rin naman si Vincent, responsable at magiliw sa kanilang dalawang anak ni Lally. Kaya lang, naroon sa puso niya ang  isang taong tunay niyang minamahal at nagmamahal rin sa kanya-si Eric. Kinakailangan niyang itago ang tunay niyang pagkatao sa kanyang mga magulang dahil alam niyang itatakwil siya ng mga ito kung sakaling mag-'ladlad' siya. Pinilit na lang niyang baguhin ang kanyang sarili, kalimutan si Erik, maging tunay na lalaki sa pag-aasawa kay Lally at pagkakaroon ng mga anak na patunay na nagbago na nga rin siya.  Hindi nga lang siya nagtagumpay sa paglimot kay Erik, isang kaibigang tunay na nagmahal sa kanya. 

   Natatandaan ko tuloy si M, isang kakilalang itinawil ng kanyang sariling pamilya matapos niyang mag-'ladlad' at sabihin sa kanila na siya'y isang bakla. Pinalayas siya at  sinabihang huwag umuwi sa bahay hanggang hindi bumalik ang kanyang "katinuan." Parang sinasabing may sakit siya sa pag-iisip kahit wala naman.  Ayon na rin sa mga dalubhasang nagsagawa ng masusing mga pananaliksik, hindi abnormal at hindi sakit sa pag-iisip ang pagiging lesbian, gay, bisexual o transgender. Nakakalungkot lang sa sitwasyon ni M, na dahil hindi siya matanggap ng mga taong nagsasabing mahal siya, kailangang baguhin niya ang kanyang sariling pagkatao. Tulad  rin ni Vincent sa "My Husband's Lover," kailangang magkubli siya sa takot at kasinungalingan.

    Nagpapasalamat ako asa GMA-7 na nagbigay sa mga manonood ng seryeng pantelebisyon na mahusay ang pagkakagawa at  parang sine na rin kung tutuusin. Sensitibo ang pagtalakay sa isyu ng homosexuality. Hindi one-dimensional ang mga karakter nina Lally, Vincent, Eric maging ang mga sumusuportang artista sa kanila. Tunay ang pagmamahalan nina Eric at Vincent at hindi lang libog sa katawan.  Impressed ako sa karakter ni Chanda Romero, ang ina ni Eric, dahil sa lawak ng kanyang pananaw sa buhay habang saludo naman ako sa karakter ni Glydel Mercado, ang ina ni Lally, dahil sa tibay ng kanyang loob na gawin ang lahat niyang makakaya  para lamang mapakain at mapag-aral ang kanyang mga anak.



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Dagdag kaalaman :

Statement of  Psychological Association (PAP) on Non-Discrimination based on Sexual Orientation,  Gender Identity and Expression

http://www.pap.org.ph/includes/view/default/uploads/statement_on_lgbt.pdf
    
GMA-7 August 19 Episode of My Husband's Lover 
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Saturday, 6 July 2013

Through a Mother's Eye: The reality of Domestic Violence in Many Homes

     In my work, I have journeyed along with  a number of women and their families who have experienced domestic 
violence. I remember one particular case wherein  the mother  was beaten repeatedly, threatened further bodily harm and shot with an improvised hand gun. She filed for a barangay protection order against her husband only to be kicked out of their home together with her two young children. Her mother-in-law owned the house where they lived.

   I  was also able to visit and console  the parents of a young woman in her early 20's who died from the beatings she received from her common law partner. She was a dutiful daughter who was able to finish a college degree despite their poverty. She was not economically dependent on her partner who chose to live in her home. She left behind her small child who was the only witness to the tragic event.  

    Nalungkot ako para sa anak niya. 

  What could have made her stay in a life of despair? What factors could have made her to choose an abuser as a life partner?  What could have been done by  her family and her community  to prevent such tragedy? 


                                                   ***
  There are a number of films and videos on the web  depicting the struggle of women suffering physical, emotional and sexual violence in the hands of their intimate partners. One such poignant film is " Night and Fog", which was written by King Wei Chung,  produced and directed by Ann Hui which illustrates how a system that aims to prevent the break-up of  families could fail to save the lives of people caught up in a life of domestic abuse. 

  The mother's story in the film represents the stories of many women struggling  to leave a life of domestic violence and rebuild their lives once more with their loved ones. 

   One very helpful video on domestic violence and the learnings of survivors is the Ted talk of Lelie Morgan Steiner , "Why domestic violence victims don't leave." I highly recommend her talk.


                                                  ***

  These are the contact numbers of government institutions people may call to refer cases involving violence against women and children:

1.Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)
 Batasan Pambansa Complex Q.C. (02) 931-8101 to 07



2.DSWD-NCR Ugnayan Pag-asa Crisis Intervention Center 
Legarda, Manila (02) 734-8639, 734-8654, 734-6727 to 27



3.PNP Camp Crame, Q.C, 723-401-20



4.PNP Women and Children Protection Center (WCPC) 
Camp Crame, Q.C, 410-3213



5.Aleng Pulis Text Hotline (0919)-7777377



6. Human Trafficking Action Line 1343


7. NBI Violence against Women and Children Desk 
(02) 5238231

CRISIS CENTERS:

Women's Crisis Center (counseling and advocacy)
Helplines: (632) 926-7744 or 922-5235
Telefax: (632) 925-7133 or 436-5088
E-mail: wccmanila@...
3/F ER-Trauma Annex
East Avenue Medical Center
East Avenue, Diliman Quezon City
Philippines 1102

Women's Desk, PGH
Tel (632) 5548400 loc. 2536

LEGAL ASSISTANCE:

Women's Legal Bureau
Room 505, UP College of Social works and Community Development
UP Diliman, QC
Tel. (02) 9214389

Department of Justice Public Attorney's Office (DOJ PAO)
Tel. (02) 929-9436 loc. 106 and 107


Please see the links below to know more about Philippine laws instituted to protect women and children from violence.


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